istherelifeafter50

As I approached my 52nd birthday (May 19) and for most of that day I been pondered the celebrations of my life. I mean why drag up all the past; let’s just look at what made me feel good over the years past. I don’t want to drag on my childhood or teen angst; God they where ghastly for all of us so why do I find myself so happy now? Let me share with you the wonderful times and people that I have had the pleasure of brushing shoulders with that make my life special, celebrated and memorial.

It’ always fun to have a brush with the stars. I have had my share. During my years in Oklahoma City, while involved with Charlis Higginbotham, an advertising rep at a local radio station, I found myself hanging out at the Classen Grill on many an occasion; a media hang out for the local radio and TV stars. Even had a brush with Sting at the Skirvin Hotel, as he and The Police where hanging out in the restaurant while I was eating dinner. Not long after, when I had married Paula, I met, at a meet and greet in Shepherds Mall, Charles Shaughnessy, then of Days of Our Lives fame and more lately The Nanny. Being the nature that I have he and I carried on a conversation, albeit briefly, over the head of the female fans about how we both were from England. I remember but I bet he doesn’t. Later that year I also had a similar experience only at the Joker’s Club in Bricktown with comedian Steve Landesberg. The biggest thrill however was the run in with Jimmy Stewart, one of Paula’s favorite actors, when I managed to get an invite to his hotel room to autograph a book of his poems. While there he introduced me to James Garner too. The most affable actor that I had the pleasure to converse with was Lyle Waggoner who I sat and talked with for a good twenty minutes at the Michael Landon Tennis tournament here in Tucson. As for sporting figures the biggest (size wise too) was Mike Charles, former Miami Dolphin, and I did shake hands with Barry Switzer and several U of A coaches and players when I took my son Trevor out to Spring Training. Soccer stars, well Rodney Marsh drinking red wine in a pizza joint in Oklahoma City was the most famous I guess. Was strange to see such a big star in England humbled playing in the USISL leagues of America.

Best places visited:

Paris. (’72, still a sophomore in high school. Will never forget going up the elevator in the Eiffel Tower and sitting in the city parks with a baguette, cheese and cheap bottle of red plonk).
London. (Senior school trip. Ditch the museum tour; find a pub! Used the bathrooms in the lobby of the Dorchester to taste the glamorous life).
Hollywood. (Fifth wedding anniversary, second wife – Paula).
Las Vegas. (Three times in all. Love the lights and the shows.)
San Francisco. (A long weekend after Louisa and I were first married five years ago. What an experience, partying on the Castro with her gay brother Herb and his partner John. They showed us a whole other life).
Sedona AZ. (Absolutely gorgeous. Running through Red Rock Park and sunrise was fabulous).
Grand Canyon. (I have taken every relative that came through Arizona here and find it awe inspiring every time).
Honorable mention: Florida’s beaches, the Appalachian Trail, Goodison Park, Disney World, Los Angeles, Lake of the Ozarks, the Smokey Mountains, Falmouth Cornwall, and my 50th birthday at Caliente (clothing optional) Resort in Land O’Lakes, FL

I’ve climbed Snowden in Wales, Scarfell Pike in England and Ben Nevis in Scotland, standing on the summit of Britain’s three highest mountains. I’ve hiked the Long Mynd.
I published poetry, written a book, ran four marathons, played five-aside against Jimmy Husband (childhood idol when he played for Everton) in an old church gym in Oklahoma City. I sang in the church choir, performed theatre in the round, gave an amateur performance at Jokers in 1986 and qualified for the Joke Off of the year finals. I heard my voice on the radio doing furniture ads, attended a John McCain rally at the U of A campus, and took part in the North America Rogaine (Australian orienteering) championships in 2001 high a top the Mogollon Ridge. I’ve lived on two continents and went to college at Ambassador College Big Sandy TX. I wrote an editorial column entitled Soccer 101 for the OKC Sports Fan Forum and was published on the Black Chronicle, Oklahoma City’s African American newspaper, and I made Percy Daniel’s day.

Family has been a source of joy for me and I thought I would share some memories of happiness. My best is marrying the right woman this time, my beautiful Louisa, who always makes me a happy man. Watching my sister Heather get married to the man who makes her happy finally too, Roy. (Damnit they seperated since I originally wrote this piece just last month). I have three sons. I was there watching as each one of them emerged into the world in the wonderful miracle of birth. I still see, feel and smell each unique moment. My boys have given me three grand-children and my wife’s daughters provided us with two more. They are a joy to behold. Being able to finally enjoy a birthday with my Mom when she turned 74 by taking her to the Gold Room at Westward Look Resort here in Tucson. The church we were raised in as children did not celebrate birthdays and since I left home at nineteen this was the first birthday we had ever celebrated together in her honor.
Best friends over the years, Trevor Addison, Irvine Lott, Jim Herst, Ed Frampton, Carolyn Harvey… and my brother Peter, who, as we have become middle-aged men, have finally developed a close bond with.
A few memories of my boys and how they have influenced me:
Jason, now 31, married and living in Mineral Springs TX at about four ears old wanted to ride the rollercoaster in Branson Missouri. I sat him on my lap as he was so small. Right as we chugged up the slope, he waited until we were about to take the first plunge to announce he didn’t want to ride it anymore. How tight I held him to stop him from being frightened. I recall sitting in Taft Stadium as he graduated from Northwest Classen High School and feeing the lump in my throat and the tear in my eye when as he walked up to get his diploma the band, to a man, stood and clapped and cheered. He was after all their Drum Major and they all gave him respect that night. I have never been prouder, except perhaps when he graduated from University of Tulsa with his degree as Chemical Engineer.
Brian, now 29, with his family in Oklahoma, three young men to influence and a baby girl too. I remember watching him on the soccer field as a nine year old and realizing what astrong competitive spirit he had when after catching a volley in the face and being knocked momentarily unconscious, wiped the mud from his face as I stood him on the side lines, pulled out he lose tooth, spat blood and ran back on the pitch. There were many times he shows exceptional talent at soccer over the years, and we often reminisce, but that was a defining moment for me. I have another memory of when he was younger, standing on the vacuum cleaner using the handle like a microphone, warbling “All the Gold In California”, a Gatlin Brothers hit country song. I also remember the look on his face as I watched him with his little baby girl, Chebri and how proud he was to be a dad! So proud he tattooed her name on his neck, but that’s another story!
And Trevor, my 14 year old ready to start high school this fall. I was there at the Indian Hospital in Ada to see him first when he was born. He had to be taken Caesarean and so while Cathy was recovering from surgery I had the pleasure of having him clasp my little finger in his hand as the nurses weighed and measured him and held him first. I still feel such a special bond with him. I never will forget the day we rode our bikes, he had a new one, out about three miles along the path next to the Rillito River when he lost control and over corrected slamming his new bike to the floor with him underneath. His elbow was bleeding profusely and his arm total road rash. He gamely got back on the bike and road back hat seemed like interminably long miles back to the car. He showed me a little of the grit and determination that lies in his psyche. Humorously I think I almost bust a gut when as a kindergartener he turned to me with a question after listening to a song on the radio and asked if it was true, that “big bottomed girls made the world go round?”

I love being entertained and over the years have attended a variety of concerts and theatrical performances. Here are the ones that I still remember enjoying in order that I saw them perform. Bread; Seals & Crofts; Diana Ross, Three Dog Night; David Copperfield; Moody Blues; Chuck Mangione; Cats; ZZ Top; Lynard Skynard; Eric Clapton; Bonnie Raitt; Miss Saigon; Phantom of the Opera; Stomp; Ryan Hood.. and this fall for our fifth wedding anniversary I have tickets to see Dave Matthews, one of Louisa’s favorites, so I am sure I will recall that one for sometime to come.

Life has been an adventure. I am blessed to have such wonderful memories. Thanks for letting me recall them and share with you. I know a lot of people haven’t had as much fun as I and these moments help me remember how well off I truly am.

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